Week 50
Alright–let’s kick this journey off strong! We are 50 weeks away from the big day, and a host of major developments are rising up from within.
Emotional Check-in: I am learning a lot about hope in church these days, so I have been constantly reminding myself that my hope in all circumstances are not in the outcomes of the situations but instead in the Creator of my circumstances. Therefore, I have space to explore joy in the experiences of rain. That isn’t always easy, but at this season of my life, I am ready to try.
Ironically, in the midst of this week, Tracy and I hit a HUGE milestone: we are steps closer to his kidney transplant! Short backstory–Tracy is in renal failure and needs a functioning kidney to discontinue dialysis and improve his bodily function. With all of the obstacles on this journey, we were in prayer (and HOPE) that they would not close his case for a potential transplant. We were so excited to hear that he is just pounds away from getting on the list and/or receiving a live kidney transplant!
The hope truly settles in. I see us having our first dance in his new kidney. I see us on the beach on our honeymoon without thinking about how much fluid he can consume per day. I see us being comfortable with having kids and both feeling healthy enough for all of the things to come. I also then remember something important–the hope does not lie in those moments. The hope lies in us working hard daily towards the greatest health–kidney or not–to live the healthiest life possible, together. From this, we started a social media campaign, “Help my Fiance Get a Kidney” by sharing our fitness experiences in hopes of lifting someone else’s spirits in their own stage of life. This journey reminds me why this is my husband.
Marriage Planning Updates: This has been a calm week, but we have been experiencing tests on how to prioritize each other’s needs, not just as a task, but as a genuine effort of connection. Let’s hope that it stays calm.
Wedding Planning Updates: We had a very important meeting with our venue’s manager, as we found out that our chosen venue was bought out by Walters Weddings, a large wedding venue company. This was quite a drastic and surprising change, especially since we picked the venue based on the “small” and “intimate” feel that it provided. Nonetheless, we (I) asked all of the hard questions, made some clarifying decisions, and we feel confident-ish about moving forward.
Let me share this bit of advice with this situation–do WHATEVER it takes to make this process as comfortable for you as possible. As a very humble person, I task you to be unapologetic about pushing the envelope. This is your special day. Make sure that everything (and I mean everything), is in place. You deserve it. Be respectful of course, but add that pressure if needed! Research over and over, and bring extra opinions if you need to. But in the end, trust your gut, and MOVE!
Additionally, we have officially booked our wedding photographer! Shoutout to my DivaDance community for providing a plethora of awesome people with beneficial careers and great hearts. We decided to go with Stephanie Ray Photography because of her experience, professional warmth, and bubbly energy, this was such an easy choice. She also has a keen eye for natural, genuine, photographic moments. Something that she said that hooked us was, “I don’t want your wedding to become a photoshoot.” She focuses on maintaining the integrity of the actual event, while still capturing breathtaking photos. She is firm, confident, and extremely flexible and empathetic. This was such a comfortable decision for the both of us.
We are thinking about moving forward with our engagement photos at the end of this month so that we can take outdoor pictures without melting like chocolate pops. I love that Stephanie Ray Photography takes initiative on helping us find the best spaces to take our photos and capture our love.
Last update: I met with my MOH’s (Maid’s and Matrons of Honor). They shared with me how they were seeking clarity on exactly what I wanted and did not want for the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. Putting this in their hands was so vulnerable for me because I am not always comfortable with opening myself to opening my vulnerable, imperfect needs to even the closest people to me. It was a huge reflection moment: either I need to lean all the way in and receive everything I desire, or I tip-toe in, and leave resentful and dissatisfied.
I thank God for my friends and their patience in this journey as they are taking on a lot logistically and emotionally. So, here is to me leaning in. Let’s see what happens.
xo
