Week 45-47
Buckle your seatbelts, friends–this will be quite a catch-up!
I’m going to combine a few weeks together because life has gotten the best of me (in the best ways).
Emotional Check-In: I am quite committed to seeing the bright side of marriage preparation despite the experiences currently going on. I see our lives folding together so well, and I also see God edifying us in our own individualized ministries and calling. This has been quite a hard season for us both, but God’s favor really supersedes that. I love how this season gives us both the opportunity to call out our insecurities, provide new context, and add on to the narratives that we have created beforehand. Through it all, there has been nothing easy about it. We just have to keep surrendering.
Marriage Planning Check-In: Somehow we ran into multiple doctor’s appointments back to back over the past couple of weeks. Dentist, cardiologist, heart specialist–loads of medical fun. But, something special comes out of these appointments. It feels special to walk alongside someone’s health journey and for someone to walk alongside yours. It is warm to feel accepted as you are and to exercise acceptance of someone else in their vulnerable journey. Love is such a deep dive, and it is crazy to think how God created us to love someone in the deepest parts of our lives in such a perfect fit, while still being so completely imperfect.
Something else that I love us building into our unique marriage is that we both truly love to serve people. During the weekends, we ended up serving a few of our friends in very vulnerable times, which we are both humbled and grateful for. I love being with someone who I don’t have to convince to serve others, even when we are completely tired. It does, however, take immense stewardship to ensure that we are doing enough to pour into our personal lives and relationship and not forget our original ministry. But to know the heart is there gives ease. A man who wants to pray over our friends, show up in the gaps, send them food for comfort–whew, that’s more than enough for me!
Speaking of a praying man, I think I see us transitioning into getting involved in church! I will have more to share very soon. :)
We put a date on the calendar to clean out my house and start setting it up as OUR house. Y’all, pray for me in this transition. I already had a mini panic attack getting on Tracy’s phone plan. Little Miss Independent is becoming Little Miss Wifey. I definitely have a lot of emotions coming up because my grandma used to live in this house with me just 6 months ago. Not having her living here allows an opportunity to move into the next season of life, but it feels like our season ended so abruptly with her becoming ill. So, there are a lot of lingering memories that I feel like I am packing up in the boxes and sitting in the garage to “hide”. I want our experiences to linger, and I also know that I need to make space. Deep sigh.
I also think a big transition is not believing the hype of pop culture that you “lose yourself” when you get married. I am speaking that while parts of me may dissipate or conclude, this journey will birth new, beautiful parts of who I am destined to be. I’m choosing to believe the best.
Wedding Planning Check-In: We took our engagement photos! And BOY, did we look spiffy!
But before we celebrate, I must tell you about the intense and emotional moments leading up to the beautiful captures.
Long story short, on the day of the photos, Tracy and I could not find his suit for the pictures. We saw part of it in the closet, but when we pulled it out, the pants were missing. In the midst of this, I was trying to become more comfortable with the idea of enjoying our photos and not thinking about them being perfect, but instead thinking about how to just be in the moment. That becomes incredibly hard when you are pantsless.
Luckily I called one of my best friends and Matron of Honor, Erika, and she did exactly what I knew that she would. She reminded me of how special and fun this moment should be, and that whatever will be will be because we are capturing our genuine love. She encouraged me to lean into the whimsical parts of the day and enjoy the process, and even more, enjoy each other.
I received, and about 15 minutes later, he found the pants. :)
It was a hot evening, so through the sweat and high necessity of food, it was a beautiful and memorable experience. It was a pinch-me moment that I am really getting married. This isn’t a situationship. This isn’t trying to pretend that something is more than it is. These are two people who really love each other and captured our love together. I believe that shined through our photos. Shoutout to my second Matron of Honor, Courtney, for keeping me cute and calm through the entire shoot!
Can’t wait to share more soon. xo
